It's ALIVE!!!

I've been thinking of so many ways to revive this blog - and it's been a while! Some things that have crossed my mind...

A silly article about my bag – here’s a quick overview. My bag: It contains many things that I hardly use and the one thing I really need (pen/ ID/stun gun) is almost always lost in that black hole disguised as a leather satchel from Dharavi. But then, who would be interested to read about THAT?

I then thought about writing what I’d been up to in the past (almost) 3 years but I can summarize that in exactly one sentence. I escaped from Ememess (see post), hitched an eligible bachelor (yes, I got married) and ignored my blog. So there.

I even thought of being clever and making this post about my failed ideas for revival but that didn’t quite cut it – as you can already see. So what I will write about today is…

DUMB B-GRADE MONSTER FLICKS!

(Been seeing a few lately due to a recent short-lived illness)

These are mostly built around some radioactive croc/bird/dino/snake or, if budgets permit, a combination of the above, with titles aptly prefixed with super/mega/monster. Try the combinations – they’re fun. As a matter of fact, I don’t think there’s a MEGABIRD flick out yet. Ideas…

The cast is usually made up of several model-type aspiring actors who can barely get their lines out without bursting into hysterical guffaws/tears depending on whether they’re in the pool or not. (Oh yes, there’s got to be a water body somewhere). A few extras make an appearance just to make the movie bloodier. Don’t worry about having to endure them too long – most of the main cast and the extras are not meant to last the entire script. When the super/mega/monster makes its first ominous appearance - be prepared to say good bye to the only funny guy in the film. Too bad, he was the only one you could stand.

The actors you will have to learn to love are the professor types. They are the sexy scientists (oxymoron, anyone?) usually one of each sex – who are the only two people on the planet who seem to know the beast well. They will dodge him-her (the radiation makes them all hermaphrodites) in ways you cannot even imagine and even outsmart the thing (if that’s possible) a couple of times. Surely, there will be some near-death experiences in between the forced chemistry and a couple of love scenes.

The entire free-for-all bloodbath is set on an exceptionally unreachable and unplottable location: usually a deserted island or a super-secret research facility. This makes getting help take long enough to last the entire length of the movie, by which time you wish you were the one being rescued or, at times, eaten.

If you haven’t seen any of these brain scramblers recently, please do. I’d put it on the fifty things to do before you die list and I’ll try to keep up the pace with my posts from now on!