The Anomalous Behaviour of Walter

There was once a little girl who loved her shoes. They were patent leather red shoes with silver buckles and little white chequered bows on the front. She loved the bows most of all.

One day, she was standing at the bus stop when her shoes encountered a bug on the grass.

Rightie said, “Hi Bug, good morning!”
“Good morning, Rightie! How do you do today?”
“I’m swell! Up and running! Alive and kicking! How about you?”

Now Bug wasn’t all that swell this morning and so said,
“Well… I’ve been busy as a B..U..G
and I don’t have enough time to enjoy life anymore you see.“
“That’s real sad Bug, tell me more”

A car passes by, fluttering Bugs’ wings. Little girl seems impatient at the bus stop, tapping her left foot.

Bug sighed, “I’m really not up to working this hard any more.
Life’s become dull, pointless and a complete bore.”

“Well Bug, why don’t you try something different today? Take the longer route home through Pollenville. The sunshine and butterflies will do you some good!”

“Rightie! How can you suggest that? I’m allergic!
To pollen, yes! All the sneezing will make me sick.”

“Now that’s strange, I’ve never heard of an allergic bug, but alright, try flying about a little. Why don’t you exercise your wings today?”

“Haven’t you heard me say?
I’m dead tired with all the work I’ve done today.”

Little girl’s left foot was tapping away and seemed a little jittery. The wait was making them all anxious.

“Okay Bug, our bus will be here any minute. Why don’t you eat out today? It might take the monotony out of everything.”

“Oh Rightie, if only you knew
How little my money can buy or do.”

CRRRUNCH!

“Walter, what have you done?” screamed Rightie and Little girl in unison.
“Aren’t you glad I put him out of his misery? I sure couldn’t take his complaining any more.”

And so Little girl learned about life and its dichotomy through this brutal lesson.